Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Bear

Trying to write while there is a kitten loose, is next to impossible. Perhaps you have had that experience, as well. So back in her crate she goes.

I saw a bear last night, returning home. My headlights picked out his?her? form against the backdrop of a garage door. I don't know how it made it from wherever it came from, I just wish the city would catch it and release it into the National Forest, so I can tie my dog back out. To me, there is no sadder sight than this bear, forced into a neighborhood, for food. Although it does make me feel as if I live in Sitka, Alaska, and I wait for a glimpse of a moose ambling down the road.

It is dark, and quiet outside. I figure that the cats run fast enough, so I have let them out for the morning. They are snack sized for the bear, but not honey flavored, so...

The crickets make a lovely sound this morning, and I hear the soft, crisp crunch that comes from the adult cat food bowl. I don't know what will happen today, but I know I am planning to go to an AA meeting tonight, come hell or high water. I have yet to start the trileptal, which is the new bipolar med I will be trying. Anything to help my shrink sleep at night.

The side effects listed, include loss of appetite but possible weight gain, which is interesting, to say the least. It may also interfere with my prozac, which is an antidepressant, and any contraceptives I may be using. If I have to have side effects, I wish that it were my choice. I mean, we can design a baby to specs, why not medication?

I hope today goes much like yesterday. It was a quiet, foggy day with my dog, the unicorn meat eaters, and the kitten. No bear involved. No feuding friends. Just pleasant company when I tired of absorbing the quiet.

And I have to say, as an introvert, that it was the most pleasant of days that I have had in a while, now. AA tells me that I cannot force my will on everyday, nor should I try. But when I am rewarded by a day like yesterday, I feel extra special to my higher power.

It's how I feel in the morning: just you and me and the dog, while the cats jump in and out of the window. Tranquil, and mysterious in the quality of dark. Only the sound of the crickets interrupts the circle of stars and clouds.

Today will be a little more gold than yesterday, a few more blades of grass will turn, and I will bring in some goldenrod from the field in front of the wood. I will let the blend of sun and clouds caress my face, and I will revel in the breeze. I will look for the red dogwood, and its berries, and compare them to the pines. The lavender blooms a bit more, and will look well against the goldenrod.

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