Saturday, August 25, 2012


Ugh. I'm glad you're here. I woke up this morning with horrible nightmares. I take something to help me sleep, it is prescription, and it does a fine job, except for the nightmares. But it's better than spending all night listening to the clock ticking.

The air outside is cool this morning, and the cats are hunting. After getting up and deciding there is not much to occupy himself, spaz dog has gone back to bed. After all, he can't help me chain smoke and drink coffee, although he would if I asked.

The water in the pool is still blue and inviting, and the zinnia are chest high in resplendent profusion, but the change in the weather is definitely here.

Vapid started screaming at her cats about an hour ago, when Married but Single left the house. But hopefully she will be in a coma when I have to go up and start the day for the kindly stepfather. 

Every day, as I write, I look at a picture of Eddie, my service animal, who passed 2 years ago. Sometimes still, my very body aches over his passing. His ghost lives in the rear seat of my car. His presence was the only reason I could drive, so long ago. I still carry his service jacket in the trunk. I can't look at it every day, but when I need reassurance I can hold it. I can't write about this any more.

Having a psychiatric service animal is a very touchy proposition. You can train any dog well, but will they respond to that person's own particular emotional and physical needs? THAT, is the Gift.

I am trying to Keep It Simple today, because the thought of life after summer, sober, is frightening...but today is dedicated to mowing the grass, which I love to do. I will just have to face the rest of it when I get there.

And then there are my new friends, the Saucy Brit and Storm. I imagine they can cheer up even Christmas. The Saucy Brit is as vibrant as an oil painting, and Storm is an Italian summer evening year round. And then there is a younger version of them, Exponential, who can shake off depression like a sword in the forge...Life may not be so bad, after all. 

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