Monday, October 21, 2013

Frustration

The post for this morning sucked, so I deleted it. I've reached a level of stress that isn't pleasant to live with: mainly, but not limited to, my living situation. It doesn't help household conflict, that the bear owns the yard, every night from about sunset to 8 in the morning. I have almost run into her twice now. I know she is afraid of me, as I am afraid of her. Max is the only reason for a night time stroll, and he seems more curious about the bear than anything. I have gotten a flashlight to defend myself.

I admire the bear, pity it, wish it well, but now, at night, a dream bear follows me in my sleep.

Some of my stress is seasonal, as the days get shorter and shorter. The window is open for the cats this morning, despite the cold, because menopause keeps me rolling in sweat, mostly at night. My leg heals but slower than I would like. Pain doesn't make me any more pleasant. I have also reached 'cat maximum' for my apartment, with 2 fosters.

So, I brush my teeth, and take my medications, and try to go outdoors as much as possible, during the daylight. I let the cats out to lower their stress levels. But they are more afraid of the bear than Max is. One night, I brought the brave hunter, Ratty in, and he was shivering and staring intently toward the edge of the woods.

I used to live next to a county where cougars killed house cats...I don't know about bears. But I am not willing to risk my babies.

It IS a Monday. On the good side, the sunlight is shafting across the green and gold lawn. The flowers still bloom, pink, gold, and blue. A hard frost hasn't fallen yet. And the leaves continue to turn: gold, red, orange.

Have a good Monday, wherever you are. And know I think of you.

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