To Be Continued...

It's a quiet morning, after rain yesterday, again. Max decided he had to pee at 2 in the morning, but we promptly went back to sleep. It's not that I didn't want to wake, but I have decided that to stay up all night, because I want a lot of time to myself, is not very practical. The cats are "roving by the light of the moon" already, and the birds sing sweetly. The gladiolas are in full bloom, pink and white.

Not that I have seen any light of the moon lately. What phase the moon is in, I could not tell you. It's been so rainy, that clouds obscure the stars and moon, every night. It's like the old days, before climate change, and it is a climate that I love. I don't like being very hot and dry all summer, and warm and dry in the winter. Just a personal preference.

I can see the trees outside, so some sort of dawn shapes up. The ground is very wet, and the grass is infinitely so. Weather people call for rain all week, and I cannot keep up with the weeds around the tomatoes.

Today is therapy day, and it makes me happy. Except I have a bit of homework to catch up on. Always do your homework for the therapist, Ladies and Gentlemen. Always.

I took the Myers-Briggs again last night, and my personality type has changed from when I was 32. Imagine that...I am now an INFP, where before, I was an INTJ Not too much difference, just gotten softer as the years wear. INFP: Introverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceptive. We make great writers and counselors, religious leaders, or some other 'service' motivated profession. We like being of help to all of humanity. I can't see anything bad about that.

So I sit here, this morning, with my coffee and you and hope nothing more exciting happens in my day than hanging the new shower curtain, with a map of the globe on it. Each country is individually labeled, and it will become vintage, one day.

Dark Star, my favorite friend, and her husband, Schrodinger, will visit in August sometime, and I plan the menu for their visit, this morning. I like to get a leg up because she has a specific diet that she is glued to. Fortunately, her diet is tasty, and the possibilities run through my head. Especially now, when it is the hungry time of day. I'll have some eggs and strawberries in a bit...

I love out of town visitors.

I am happy to say that I have neither more or less burdens than I did yesterday. Not drinking and my medications seem to have stabilized my moods pretty well, and I have only some weight gain to worry about.

Through group therapy, I have come to realize why I used to live in 'crisis mode' all of the time. It was always something. Crisis allows: less responsibility for events, less accountability for our actions, sympathy, and a feeling of importance. I still have a dear friend, whom I can no longer speak to, that still lives in crisis mode. It is her daily bread and butter. Through her, I have found what it was like to be a friend to me, for a long time. It meant incredible amounts of stress. I am deeply appreciative of the friends who stuck it out with me. I don't know why they did. But I am grateful, today.

Of course, my psychotic episodes made everyday a crisis day, and it was real crisis. But I drank and refused my meds, when I could have helped myself more. So much of my life was wasted! I can't do anything about that today, but live life to the fullest; enjoying every moment, when I can.

So, I raise my coffee cup and toast my new shower curtain, with the drawing of the globe and each country individually labeled. I salute you, on this journey for a time with me every day. I revel in my dog, with his butt against my leg, and the power of words to bring us together.