Monday, May 30, 2011

I Love Ralph Lauren

I love my coffee, my dog, my unicorn meat eating cats, and a sheet set by Ralph Lauren. They don't have the plastic stuff on them that cheap sheets do. Now, this is of no interest to anyone but me, but I think sheets should smell like my Grandfather's cedar chest, if they are to function properly, like putting me to sleep. They should have a somewhat iron smell that cedar and my Grandfather's hair oil did. They should be crisp and cool when one slides into them, and the blanket should be handmade by Great-grandmother, or Martha Stewart.

Many evils are committed for hunger's sake, but it all really boils down to sheets. I have been hungry, poor, discouraged and lonely, but nothing makes up for it like a really nice set of sheets. And if you think I am just tired, think again. I am. My dog loves his bone, my cats have a passing fancy for catnip and I love Ralph Lauren. Is he dead or what?

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