It's back to the Bah Humbug time of year, which is everyday excepting Christmas. The cats have pulled down most of the Christmas tree ornaments, drank the water from the reservoir; in fact, done everything cat-like there is to do to something given them as a gift, their Christmas tree. I've seen animals they've dragged in treated better.
I will probably run out of cigarettes today, which is a dreadful prospect for all concerned, except for the cats. I know they will "get me" if I display the slightest change in temperament while trying to live through the horrible withdrawals I am going to face. But, it's got to be done sometime.
I quit for 8 months several years ago and it's astounding for smokers to find out that they smell THAT bad to non-smokers. It truly reeks, and it took three days to get the smell out of my hair and longer to get it off my skin. Nevertheless, no one but the truly rich can afford to smoke anymore, and I am tired of lighting 5 dollar bills up and watching the smoke dissipate into the atmosphere. In a word, I'm cheap. I blame it entirely on my Methodist and Scottish ancestors. Not on any intrinsic set of values, of which I have none. However, I did count my Christmas cards this afternoon, as I may be smoking them about midnight...wonder what a coffee cigarette tastes like?
My friend Beth, on hearing I was quitting smoking, and only living 3 states away, promptly left for Australia until the nightmare is over. Cleverly, I haven't told my shrink or my lawyer yet. I suggest you all have masses said for the soul of my therapist, Kathryn. It's also going to be quite a surprise to my physical therapist tomorrow, poor girl. But they train those in the medical field in trauma, is how I look at it.
Tomorrow: May be much sooner if I have nothing to do with my hands and run out early.