I had nightmares last night, about the man I love, but some kitten cuddles, and a dog that increasingly wants to spend more time glued to my hip, helped get me over it. Oh, and I called my friend, Dark Star this morning. She was properly upbeat, despite a sick kitty of her own. Life does go on, doesn't it?
But I don't want to be gloomy. I am much better off alone right now, without painful complications. The morning is still beautiful when I walk the dog, Max. There are lilacs on our walk, and crepe myrtles, maples and holly. The grass is green, and my dog is young...
My Higher Power arranges my days to be pleasant, with many voices in it. And despite Facebook's flaws, I depend on it for company, sometimes.
I am going to Topsail Beach, NC in August with some friends, and I am thinking about going to Florida to visit a friend in September. Amy, you know who you are...
My therapist is on vacation this week, so I will lean on my AA group, and my animals and friends to keep me company.
Just for Today.
This blog is about life with ptsd, bipolar disorder, and alcoholism. Grab some coffee, and always remember, you are why your psychiatrist gets up in the morning...
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
There Is That
The man I love doesn't love me anymore. It's too bad. But I am in search of my own health, and my own spiritual life, and the relationship didn't foster those things. He has his own demons to face.
Max, the dog, doesn't understand why we don't go over there anymore. I don't know how to explain, so I play with him more, and walk him more. He got chicken for breakfast. The unicorn meat eating cats don't care. They only want love, which is easy enough for me to give to them.
But I don't need a romantic relationship at this point in my life. I need to love myself, cuddle myself, take care of me. It sounds selfish I know, but I am being forced to be selfish because of my health, mental, emotional and physical.
Meanwhile, Blue is safely in Northern Virginia, living it up at a foster home. Although there is a baby pitbull girl at the RCACP in Roanoke, VA that needs love and rescue. She is going to be put down because she has a cold.
She is all love. There is that.
Max, the dog, doesn't understand why we don't go over there anymore. I don't know how to explain, so I play with him more, and walk him more. He got chicken for breakfast. The unicorn meat eating cats don't care. They only want love, which is easy enough for me to give to them.
But I don't need a romantic relationship at this point in my life. I need to love myself, cuddle myself, take care of me. It sounds selfish I know, but I am being forced to be selfish because of my health, mental, emotional and physical.
Meanwhile, Blue is safely in Northern Virginia, living it up at a foster home. Although there is a baby pitbull girl at the RCACP in Roanoke, VA that needs love and rescue. She is going to be put down because she has a cold.
She is all love. There is that.
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